Butterstick vs Tonka vs China Washington, magnificent

Update 8/26/2005:
I was able to locate a secondary camera through the Animal Planet web site thanks to NPR.com to compensate for the National Zoo's pathetic camera capacity. Kitty Eisele reported on NPR today about her obsession with the national zoo's panda cams. During the story, she gave sad props to "The Bloggers' " campaign to name the cuddly cub "Butterstick", using a tone of voice to ennuciate "the Bloggers" as a fundamentalist Christian would mention "The Gays" or senior citizens would mention "The Cancer." (could this be a commentary from the media about bloggers' roll in today's culture?) Anyway, the implied response to "The Bloggers" request is that "Butterstick" is now "built like a Tonka truck". Funny how that didn't appear as an option either, cause I might have voted for Tonka assuming Butterstick wasn't an option. Note to Kitty: DC is quickly turning from a Blue State to a Butterstick state...oh wait....they seem to be the same thing.

Note to San Diego: You're pathetic.

Vote Butterstick!

Playlist updated

Random stuff. The last song was performed by some friends of mine.

Polyunsaturated Oil Stick

I have to admit, I have hopped on the Butterstick Bandwagon and couldn't think of a better name for the nation's only significant panda baby than America's favorite passion: greasy fat. The only problem: even though western cuisine revolves around butter and fat, chinese cooking relies on "...poly-unsaturated oils, and milk, cream, butter and cheese are not a part of the daily diet."

I also should mention to the national zoo that your camera capacity sucks. You may want to consider booting people off after a given time to allow others a chance to see. And for those of you with the camera sitting open on your desktop, eat my corn-pocked turd or close the window you selfish nancies.

There has to be a term for it...

If a gay man hides behind a beard, what does a lesbian hide behind?

10 songs I'm digging right now

The instructions are:List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to.

Best Friend Envy - The Brunettes
The Bleeding Hearts Club Show - The New Pornographers
Tender (Cornelius Mix) - Blur
Conversation Piece - David Bowie
Get Close to Mine - Junesex
Cool - Gwen Stefani
Fastlane (Morel's Pink Noise Remix) - Esthero
Soft Revolution - Stars
Cold Wind - The Arcade Fire
Junkyard - Page France

Just curious what John, Ben, Paul (photos will work), Michael and Seeking Irony are listening to.

The BK Broiler

The BTK Broiler

It's sad, but I couldn't resist.

Wikipedia gets Wicked

After the last post, I had to also include this (also not friendly for work) link.

Thanks, Evil Monkey.

My Kind of Easy Listening

The playlist is updated. Try not to gag.
(warning link not safe for work)

Flight 93 movie.

MSNBC entertainment news today talks about the possiblity of a suspense thriller situated on United Airlines Flight 93 that crashed on September 11. Although to me the entry of September 11th into popular culture does not mark our society "coming to terms with the calamity" I am intrigued by the prospects of my high school acquaintance who I sat next to in French class for 2 years being portrayed on the big screen by a big name celebrity. Who should it be? Might I suggest Lacy Chabert?

Virgin Mega Whore

On the back of my "copy protected" Etienne Daho Réévolution CD it states:

"On some equipment, for example car CD players playback problems may be encountered."

And my response to you, Richard Branson, and your team of pathetic software engineers is:

"Suck my crusty venereal infected clit you reality flop colorectal mother fucker! What the pussywillow is the purpose of the music if you can't fracking listen to it either on your computer, iPod, or in your automobile?"

...and that's all I have to say except that the CD is on my iPOD and I have 500 backups burned.

The side of my cup says:

"There is a hidden magic in Starbucks coffee; proper brewing releases the subtle bouquet of flavors stored in each bean."

Translation:

"There is crack cocaine in Starbucks coffee; our staff's puss excretions release the subtle bouquet of flavors stored in each rock."

Set Your TiVo to Red: Battle of the Reality Stars

Although modern reality TV has just turned 5 years old using the original Survivor as the definitive c-section for the genre, I'm anxious to see how this bunch of z list celebrities can extend their face time from 15 minutes to 16 minutes on the new Bravo series Battle of the Network Reality Stars. Such a show beckons me back to the old days of Circus of the Stars and Celebrity Challenge of the Sexes. What I find most interesting about the list is that they did a pretty good job in selecting the people I find interesting. In addition to some usual suspects (Richard Hatch, Omarosa Manigault Stallworth and Susan Hawk) there are a few surprises. Here's a few of the highlights for me:

Charla and Myrna (Amazing Race)
Nikki McKibbin (American Idol)
Wendy Pepper (Project Runway)

New Playlist

A little indie
A little dance
A little glam

Thanks Kyle and Jerry for pointing me to some of these.

Spice Girl Xanadu

or as my sister likes to call her - Emma Rose - entered my life yesterday with a sniffling call from my mother from Colorado. At the time of the phone call, I was watching the most recent episode of Six Feet Under entitled "All Alone." This had a similar unsettling effect on me as the time when I tried to eat a pizza while watching Hotel Rawanda. My mom's cell phone had poor reception which ended up forcing me to scream into the phone "CAN YOU HEAR ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" over and over again. Of course my mother responded "no" which made no sense because the correct answer for the question if she had really meant no would have been no answer at all. In the end, I had to hang up the phone after getting bare bones information regarding the birth of my first niece - Beautiful baby girl 6 lbs 13 oz 7:30 PM large honking feet black petals of hair - My absence from the day has resulted in feelings of jealousy that continue to circulate my body through a complex network of neurons known as the .

Later last night, I talked with my sister for only a couple of minutes because the doctors were in the process of "scooping her uterus off the floor." I don't think that things went too well for her, but after 24 hours of labor she was able to push Emma out with out need for a C-section. I wish my sister and Emma the best for their recovery and couldn't be happier of more proud for my family today.

Emma Rose

Born unto my sister at ~7:30 PM Mountain time 6 lbs 13 oz with curly black petals of hair and giant honking feet.

The Apple Drunkling Gang

In no particular order:

Dear UPS,

In answer to your recent question, "What can brown do for you?" I thought I would give you a few examples of what brown did to me:

Hepatitis A
Roundworm
Chagas Disease
Donald Rumsfeld

Additionally, I think your new campaign is pretty nasty outside of the fetish community. May I suggest changing your strategy to: "Brown. So much better than yellow."?

Sincerely,
Schtzo

Tennis anyone?

The Next Live 8 Right in My Own Back Yard

Ceasefire music festival
September 24
National Mall

"As Live Aid and Live 8 raised desperately needed funds and awareness for hunger and poverty, Operation Ceasefire intends to raise money for the fight against the misguided and immoral war and occupation of Iraq!"

So far, the line up is as follows:
Thievery Corporation
Anti-Flag
Le Tigre
Bouncing Souls
Steve Earle
The Coup
Head-Roc
Jello Biafra
Wayne Kramer of the MC5
many others
Source

Jason's List

Given that today marks the birth of someone very special to me, I am dedicating the playlist this week to songs that Jason would enjoy (plus one song he's never heard but I'm sure he'll like)

Also, special birthday wishes to Martin Sheen and Martha Stewart.

Déjà Did

Every morning (except when I bring my own) I stop at the cafeteria and buy a medium cup of coffee for $1.42. Because pennies, nickels, and dimes accumulate quite easily, I generally use these coins to make up the $.42 -- usually 12 pennies, 2 nickels and 2 dimes. So just like every other day I went to my change cup and sorted out the correct amount and went down to get a cup of coffee.

At lunch today, the cafeteria lady at the register, B. commented that she thought I had brought my own cup of coffee and I had no idea what she was talking about. I said that I had bought a cup of coffee from her earlier in the day. She replied with something else to which I said, "I have no idea what you are talking about...I don't understand..." and then I paid for my lunch and sat down. About 30 minutes after lunch I decided I wanted something from the vending machine. I fished in my pocket for money and lo and behold! 12 pennies, 2 nickels and 2 dimes. I totally shoplifted my coffee. I rushed down and found B., apologized profusely, and paid the full amount.

What disturbs me so much about this account is that I had a fully developed memory of myself paying for that cup of coffee this morning. It even involved talking with the cashier who I obviously didn't talk to or she would have questioned why I wasn't paying for my coffee...I mean, I'm sure I asked how her weekend was...but maybe that was on Monday...Could this be the opposite of Déjà Vu? Maybe Artiloop will have something to say about forming memories out of nothing at all besides telling me that I'm one of the sleeping dead.

Flickr Off

Last night when I walked from my kitchen to the bedroom carrying a freshly dispensed glass of cold filtered water something gigantic caught my eye in the door jam of our bathroom. Enormous earth shaking cock roach love. I've lived with roaches before and can deal with them when I know they're there, but when caught off guard I can't recover. So I ran screaming and demanded that J. be the judge, jury and executioner for this pair who defiled our door frame.

He made fun of me and called me names, but in the end he saved the day with a swift blow from the Steve Madden pink thong sandal after joyfully watching them finish their encounter. Just kidding.

Anyway, after the carnage I retreated back to bed only to be overcome for a moment with regret. What had I done? Is there anything that would have made a better photo montage on my new (and fairly empty) Flickr account [user name schtzo] than the image of a cock roach couple making sweet love in the shadows of a city bathroom followed by their violent and untimely murder?

I thought not...until this morning when I took Yoki for a walk through Kalorama Triangle park...

A homeless gent enshrouded in a white sheet lay spread across the lawn like a fallen soldier on a battlefield (okay...it was only one person). Encircling him was a pack of neighborhood dogs, urinating and deficating and sniffing and playing while the owners sipped their morning brew while discussing the current heat wave. I couldn't help think that this would be the thought provoking photograph that would result in hundreds of comments and an international following. But as I pulled my camera phone from my pocket, my conscience pulled harder and I slipped the phone back without a second thought and without a Flickr photo to post.

If that person is there tomorrow morning though, I'm taking the photo.