Schitzophonic

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Dream Diary 1

So, I had a rather strange dream last night that I feel compelled to recount.

To give background for my dream that I created during the dream:

Congolese rebels are on the attack, burning villages on their way to the presidential compound in Brazzaville. Prior to these attacks CBS chose the location as the site for Survivor 14 of which I was selected to be a contestant. The 16 castaways have already been dropped off when the dream begins.

So, I remember thinking, so this is it...we're on our own...no food, no water. We were given a map that led us to our camp. In order to get there we had to traverse miles and miles of lush African Grasslands. The big five animals were no where in sight. They had all been massacred by the rebel fighters. All that stood out was dead golden grass waving in the wind. The tribe entered the fenced compound that belonged to the president of the country. A river rushed by one edge of the property with treacherous rapids - perhaps the Sangha? My group continued uphill through more grass and we set our meager belongings next to a giant mansion that belonged to the president.

I quickly made an alliance with Mechell Ndegeocello who was the surprise celebrity. The competition was rather vague. I remember preparing myself for headaches from not drinking water and being very hungry. What was wierd about this was that we were allowed to use the mansion and we would take showers and swim in the pool and other people in the group would eat and drink. I kept telling them: Hey, this isn't really the point, is it? But eventually I gave up trying to hunt rodents in the grass and opened the freezer for a Bocca Burger. After the tribes merged I learned that Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeifer were also competing. Bruce Willis was the first to go after we merged and as he left he asked everyone if they wanted to see his wang. I had been told by J. that his female friend had "done" Bruce and that his wiener was not all that, but what he showed us was swollen and large, encased in black latex with the chestnuts free to breathe. Following this and before departing, Michelle (not Mechell) and Bruce snuggled and kissed because while they were on the same tribe for the beginning of Survivor Congo they became close and fell in L.O.V.E.

I didn't win the competition because other parts of the dream involved me sitting in on the tribal councils as a jury member. The rest is vague and nobody went on strike and nobody wrote pointless articles that don't really say anything at all. But eventually I did wake up and people were on strike and people were writing pointless articles that don't really say anything at all.

I've seen Color of Night, so I know that I was very generous to Bruce, but I know deep inside that it's not how big it is, but how you use it. Feel free to leave comments with links to naked photos of Mr. Willis.

Monday, December 19, 2005

I would like to encourage the Parking Enforcement of DC to unionize and go on strike. What a great city DC would be!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Familiar Comfort

A couple weeks back I checked Beth Orton's site to see what she might be up to figuring that she's definitely ridden Daybreaker into the ground (Not that I dont still love every song on it) to find nothing new.

Torr (see December 1) now has two downloads available "In Your Arms" and "Shadow of a Doubt" along with a streamable version of "Conceived" which is apparently the first single from the February 7th album, The Comfort of Strangers. She appears to be moving back towards Trailer Park and Central Reservation with more of a blues or folk band sound to it which makes sense given that Jim O'Rourke of Sonic Youth notoriety is at the production helm. For now I reserve judgement until I can hear the whole thing...but comments on Torr indicate fans will be disappointed. Really great and thanks for the tracks, Torr.

Read the Billboard article here.

Fudge Packer Snowman




Nieman Marcus, for the chocolate lovers of 2005, sells a white chocolate snowman filled with milk chocolate truffle. The dimensions are 15"Hx6"wx3"w. I want to punch that fucker in the face and eat out its ass utnil I find last Tuesday's lunch - which I assume was chocolate.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

(saved but never posted) From: 12/8/2005

A few weeks ago, Jason's friend Sam mentioned over mojitos that his signature recipe came from the same book that my signature recipe comes from. Mine is Alsacian saurkraut (although my friends would say its the braised red cabbage (p 396)) Sam's is Carbonnades a la Flammande which translates to beef braised in beer. The bible of which I speak is none other than Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child. Jerome attests that the recipes are overly complicated and needlessly so and swears by the food network database. I say, "Yes, they may be overly complicated but you can't argue with butter." Seriously, you can't. I've tried and I'm generally left with grease covered hands and nothing to put in my dutch oven.

As the temperature drops, my craving for stew raises so when we discussed this I had to try it out. Tonight, that's what I'm doing (for tomorrow night.) Here are a few realizations from the experience:

1) beef stew is just a beer and a broth away from a steak sub.
2) I need to orchestrate my birthdays better.
3) Overly complicated or not, Julia Child's recipes can turn your apartment from a stool smelling pit to a delicious feast in about an hour. One hour after cooking is another story, so make sure people eat quickly.

bon appetit mes amis. I'm really excited to watch the project runway premiere tomorrow night (and I'm resisting temptation right now) and to try this masterpiece stew that has my home smelling less like a homeless shelter and more like a Great Steak Escape at the mall.

32

I just wanted to send out a big thank you to everyone who made me feel like the luckiest boy in the world yesterday for having so many delightful friends. The only person I would like to not thank is Yoki who instead of wishing me a happy birthday proceeded to tell me what she wanted for her birthday which is on Monday. Way to hurt my feelings, Yoki.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Underwear outranks lifetime achievements

Flipping through the Style section this morning it struck me that Robert Redford's daughter has the same teeth as the alien of the Alien movies. Both CNN and MSNBC diss the honors by not featuring the award show front and center on their pages, instead opting for Tyra Banks' retirement and Victoria's Secret TV special.

In other entertainment news, Mary J. Blige begins preparing for her role as my favorite jazz singer of them all, Nina Simone. I doubt that Blige will be able to capture the raspy emotion put forth by Simone, but the troubled past of Blige gives me a boost of confidence that she can pull it off.