Me so mourny

My Public Service Announcement

If you have misspelled a word in your lyrics to make a pun, it is no longer clever. Instead, it shows you are truly putting the "ard" and not the "art" in retarded. I'm not one to point fingers, The Bravery, I'm sure it was just "An Honest Mistake." I like you anyway....I just wish you didn't sound like everyone else and that everyone else didn't sound like you...I hope I'm not being an "Out of Line" "Tyrant."

Update: As a disclaimer, I am the worst speller in the world and many of my jokes and puns don't come off, so I should be more forgiving. My issue has more to do with the fact that there are so many good bands coming out these days that offer the whole package (Arcade Fire, Bloc Party, Tegan and Sara) that i just don't have time for these blatantly bad lyrics. Avid readers will remember my similar discontent with Dogs Die in Hot Cars...

...and to boot, I'm much more interested in the music...

Poll: The original clone

Who was the original clone?
Dolly the Sheep
Eve from the Garden of Eden

It seems to me that if there was ever an argument that God condones human cloning or embryonic stem cell research, this might be it!

Millionaires from the Taking

I saw this article on CNN money today and it made me think of a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless, but if you're reading this, then it isn't you) who is a cheapskate. She has been able to save lots of money by living off the backs of her friends by doing things such as undertipping at group restaurant trips and insisting on dividing up the bill after ordering the steak and mucho vino. As a result, when time came to buy her car, she was able to pay cash for it. These two people look exactly like the types to do just that, so if you happen to be their friends watch out for their tip card.

Underblog

My first instinct is to cheer on the underdog, but as soon as I was saying to myself last night, "Maybe Angie can win it all...wouldn't that be great?" she got the boot...

Anyway, my NCAA bracket is absent of Cinderella stories this year. They never paid off in the past, and mama needs a new pair of shoes.

Where Bad Shows Go to Die and other TV web crossovers

Since the internet has transformed the world, television networks have experimented with ideas on how to use the internet to their advantage. This generally ends up with unseen footage or exclusive photos and maybe a game or two that compliments the show. CBS took this a step further with its popular Survivor franchise (is that the right word?) and created an exclusive online show "Suvivor Live". FOX is currently allowing people to view the unseen episodes of their bombed Apprentice spoof, "My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss" through their website. I'm embarrassed that I ever watched this show, but I might as well finish it, right? NBC started what I think is a fake Blog, Nigelblog which I guess goes with Crossing Jordon. Commentors try to piece together the clues to a seriel killer case Nigel is currently investigating. The whole thing is cheesy, but it is funny to read the stupid comments people post.

For example:
Feb 20 - All the gunshot wounds were angled down suggesting the murderer was taller than the victims
or
Feb 13 - Could be a messed up curly-q
or
Feb 13 -i think it has something to do with the religious denomonation of the women

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how exclusive web shows take off.

If I lived in Bedrock...

...my name would be Baron von Feldspar, the eccentric heir to the Feldspar Dinopliance fortune. Dinopliance was the first company to mass market animals and dinosaurs as appliances and what would today be considered electronics. The success of the company would depend on keeping a sharp eye focused on the needs of tomorrow.

I would live in the highly desirable neighborhood known as Tar Pit Estates just north of and upwind from Bedrock proper right next to my family's long time rival, Mr. Slate. I like to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. My house would be in the style of neo-cavedwelling with expansive caverns, mineral baths and windows facing out to the tar pit. Such a beautiful dwelling in a top notch location could not be enjoyed alone, so I would share it with my domesticated partner J. Palmstone (executive director of the Bedrock Tribal Dance Co.) and my dodo Yoki. Everyone would know about our Cromagnon love, but nobody would say anything. I would dress myself in the furs of saber tooth tigers and wooly mammoths as designed by Yves Slate Laurent and Michael Korstone.

My ancestors' Dinopliance company was long ago sold to Lascaux engineering who famously used the walls of caves as their drafting boards to improve the quality and abilities of many everyday Dinopliances. Last I heard, they were working on using spiders and ducks to unite the world with an information superhighway beyond anything anyone could have dreamed. My days would be spent sipping cosmorockitans by the edge of the volcanic springs while my evenings would be spent touting around town, being seen with gal pal fag hags Wilma and Betty trying to make Mrs. Slate look like the Brontosaurus lipped Triceratops that she is (if you know what I mean)!

Blogging for Blogging's Sake #1

I've lost my momentum and inspiration continues to escape me, so here's a bunch of random shit.

E!'s Michael Jackson trial re-enactment is brilliant. To a degree, I feel as though it creates a pseudo commentary on reality television. The actors are so dead pan in their recreations, they create what seems almost like a Saturday Night Live skit with the late Phil Hartman as the lead defense attorney. See the NYTimes article about the actor playing MJ right down to the lollypop stuffed pocket.

I'm not ready for a new Amazing Race. Too soon - although I was happy that my two favorite teams came in 1st and 2nd. I would love for E! to have actors recreate each episode of the Amazing Race. American Idol has totally been set up for a guy to win.

I love the new computer (Dell XPS Gen4) and can't wait to paint the kitchen bright red-orange. I think every kitchen should be a warm color and every computer should have accent lighting.

Yoki is built like a fox, but her features are more like a doe. A deer was pooping in the woods outisde of the lab windows today and it looked just like Yoki when she makes peanut butter. Arched back, neck strained. I'd never witnessed Bambi take a crap before as Disney chose not to include that footage.