If I lived in Bedrock...

...my name would be Baron von Feldspar, the eccentric heir to the Feldspar Dinopliance fortune. Dinopliance was the first company to mass market animals and dinosaurs as appliances and what would today be considered electronics. The success of the company would depend on keeping a sharp eye focused on the needs of tomorrow.

I would live in the highly desirable neighborhood known as Tar Pit Estates just north of and upwind from Bedrock proper right next to my family's long time rival, Mr. Slate. I like to keep my friends close and my enemies closer. My house would be in the style of neo-cavedwelling with expansive caverns, mineral baths and windows facing out to the tar pit. Such a beautiful dwelling in a top notch location could not be enjoyed alone, so I would share it with my domesticated partner J. Palmstone (executive director of the Bedrock Tribal Dance Co.) and my dodo Yoki. Everyone would know about our Cromagnon love, but nobody would say anything. I would dress myself in the furs of saber tooth tigers and wooly mammoths as designed by Yves Slate Laurent and Michael Korstone.

My ancestors' Dinopliance company was long ago sold to Lascaux engineering who famously used the walls of caves as their drafting boards to improve the quality and abilities of many everyday Dinopliances. Last I heard, they were working on using spiders and ducks to unite the world with an information superhighway beyond anything anyone could have dreamed. My days would be spent sipping cosmorockitans by the edge of the volcanic springs while my evenings would be spent touting around town, being seen with gal pal fag hags Wilma and Betty trying to make Mrs. Slate look like the Brontosaurus lipped Triceratops that she is (if you know what I mean)!