temper tampons
I need super absorbency today. The lining of my IQ is shedding and I'm finding myself a good candidate for induction into the menses society.
What I mean to say is that I'm throwing a temper tantrum right now, and whereas I understand the ridiculousness and I want it to stop, all of the rational explanations sound just like a parent trying to calm a flailing child. I've laid my body down on the ground. My arms and legs are outstretched in jumping jack suspension. I'm holding my breath until I turn blue. It is a definite stand off with rational me standing over, tapping my foot in complete frustration knowing that deep inside that all of the other Meyers Briggs ISTJ beings are simply looking on in utter embarrassment and judgement. And what's worse is that the rational me wants to give in and resolve the issue just to end the cycle.
It's interesting the difference between throwing tantrums as an adult and throwing tantrums as a child. I don't know if I've ever experienced a temper tantrum as an adult before, which makes the experience all the more enlightening. What is the anatomy of a temper tantrum? A strong desire followed by extreme disappointment. A fragile membrane encases the longing, rich and potent and full of life's potential, holding in flavor and fat. Surrounding the fetal ardor, perhaps protecting and nurturing it, are the odds against it ever occuring (let's face it, how desirable would something be if it were easy). The membrane breaking leads to emotional scrambling...not a well formed frittata of feelings, or a hard boiled ordeal - simply whisked metaphysical ova with a dash of salt and pepper. Even though logical thoughts are consistantly going through my head, my physical body is twitching with jaded angst and uncontrollable agitation. My brain is turning purple and the temper tampon is saturated to the point where extraction is almost impossible.
I've heard that you can never kill yourself by holding your breath. Eventually you would pass out and then your body's autonomic nervous system would kick in and save you. Have you ever held your breath for so long that you start to see prickles of light? Well, that's what has finally happened for me. You can get a similar effect by squinting your eyes and rubbing your knuckles against your eyeballs as hard as you can tolerate. Maybe autonomic reasoning has settled in. I love and am loved and that's all that matters.
Just one thing to remember, once you are able to remove your temper tampon, be sure to flush. You wouldn't want your friends telling stories about you behind your back.
What I mean to say is that I'm throwing a temper tantrum right now, and whereas I understand the ridiculousness and I want it to stop, all of the rational explanations sound just like a parent trying to calm a flailing child. I've laid my body down on the ground. My arms and legs are outstretched in jumping jack suspension. I'm holding my breath until I turn blue. It is a definite stand off with rational me standing over, tapping my foot in complete frustration knowing that deep inside that all of the other Meyers Briggs ISTJ beings are simply looking on in utter embarrassment and judgement. And what's worse is that the rational me wants to give in and resolve the issue just to end the cycle.
It's interesting the difference between throwing tantrums as an adult and throwing tantrums as a child. I don't know if I've ever experienced a temper tantrum as an adult before, which makes the experience all the more enlightening. What is the anatomy of a temper tantrum? A strong desire followed by extreme disappointment. A fragile membrane encases the longing, rich and potent and full of life's potential, holding in flavor and fat. Surrounding the fetal ardor, perhaps protecting and nurturing it, are the odds against it ever occuring (let's face it, how desirable would something be if it were easy). The membrane breaking leads to emotional scrambling...not a well formed frittata of feelings, or a hard boiled ordeal - simply whisked metaphysical ova with a dash of salt and pepper. Even though logical thoughts are consistantly going through my head, my physical body is twitching with jaded angst and uncontrollable agitation. My brain is turning purple and the temper tampon is saturated to the point where extraction is almost impossible.
I've heard that you can never kill yourself by holding your breath. Eventually you would pass out and then your body's autonomic nervous system would kick in and save you. Have you ever held your breath for so long that you start to see prickles of light? Well, that's what has finally happened for me. You can get a similar effect by squinting your eyes and rubbing your knuckles against your eyeballs as hard as you can tolerate. Maybe autonomic reasoning has settled in. I love and am loved and that's all that matters.
Just one thing to remember, once you are able to remove your temper tampon, be sure to flush. You wouldn't want your friends telling stories about you behind your back.
posted by Schitzo at
3:58 PM
