Happy 31, Schitzy
So, as per tradition, I've decided to stretch my birthday from the time my mother went into labor, through my birth, up to when she left the hospital. This allows me to milk praise, salutations, and well wishes from the sunken udders of my friends and loved ones.
December 5th, 1973, my mother begins labor. December 5th 2004 - Brian makes the executive decision that if he's going to be stuck with a Monday birthday (probably the second shittiest of all possible weekdays next to Tuesday) that he's going to "celebrate" early by visiting the Baltimore crew: Jerome, Vijay and Jae Eun for a pre-birthday brunch at Windows at the Baltimore Renaissance. We all sat akwardly eating our brunch, trying to see a bright side to the dried out chicken, the synthetic tasting omlettes and the bizarre chocolate-tangerine-raspberry-vanilla custard desert. We turned to making fun of other patrons.
The evening was spent trimming the tree with extensive lights. Given that Target had been pillaged by swarms of suburbanites, itching to have the brightest house on the block, we were left with few choices. I had picked up some large ceramic bulbs earlier in the week, but none of those were left. We decided that if the tree were to not be uniform that we should go all out and make the tree kitchy with all the different colors and sizes and shapes that we could possibly find. The results are surprisingly great, in that John Waters kind of way. (For John Waters Christmas ideas check out his movie Female Trouble).
After arriving home, I attended Taint with John, Chrisafer, and Kyle. For a description of the evening, I've linked to Kyle's summary. Apparently they closed the house.
December 6 proved a difficult day for the sandman to leave. He's finally caught on and instead of leaving sand in my eyes, he leaves a sand/water suspension which cements my eyes shut upon drying. It was sometime between stumbling from the kettle to the shower that I realized that lemon drops aren't the best Sunday night thirst quencher. The exhausting day elapsed over a period of weeks and at the moment I thought I was turning 32, I peered at the clock and saw that 5 o'clock had finally arrived.
During my commute home I thought about all of the fantastic adventures a 31 year old should have on his birthday. I fantasized about walking into a fancy restaurant and saying "Table for 1." I thought about sitting in the corner with a can of condensed soup, spooning thick chunks of cold salty broth and soggy vegetables into my half opened mouth while Yoki licks the drippings from my chin. I even considered buying a Hostess snack cake, placing a couple candles in it and watching them burn to their bases. When the candles would finally extinguish I'd blow my noise maker, throw some confetti and sit in darkness, still looking at the wax covered cake with my cone hat slightly askew. Instead of indulging myself, I arrived at home to find quite a surprise!!! Wunderbar! I love, love, love it.
Anyway, I spent the remainder of the evening decorating the Christmas tree and snuggling up with my sugar. I can't imagine a better way to end the day.
Anyway, the festivities shall continue, albeit in my head...
December 5th, 1973, my mother begins labor. December 5th 2004 - Brian makes the executive decision that if he's going to be stuck with a Monday birthday (probably the second shittiest of all possible weekdays next to Tuesday) that he's going to "celebrate" early by visiting the Baltimore crew: Jerome, Vijay and Jae Eun for a pre-birthday brunch at Windows at the Baltimore Renaissance. We all sat akwardly eating our brunch, trying to see a bright side to the dried out chicken, the synthetic tasting omlettes and the bizarre chocolate-tangerine-raspberry-vanilla custard desert. We turned to making fun of other patrons.
The evening was spent trimming the tree with extensive lights. Given that Target had been pillaged by swarms of suburbanites, itching to have the brightest house on the block, we were left with few choices. I had picked up some large ceramic bulbs earlier in the week, but none of those were left. We decided that if the tree were to not be uniform that we should go all out and make the tree kitchy with all the different colors and sizes and shapes that we could possibly find. The results are surprisingly great, in that John Waters kind of way. (For John Waters Christmas ideas check out his movie Female Trouble).
After arriving home, I attended Taint with John, Chrisafer, and Kyle. For a description of the evening, I've linked to Kyle's summary. Apparently they closed the house.
December 6 proved a difficult day for the sandman to leave. He's finally caught on and instead of leaving sand in my eyes, he leaves a sand/water suspension which cements my eyes shut upon drying. It was sometime between stumbling from the kettle to the shower that I realized that lemon drops aren't the best Sunday night thirst quencher. The exhausting day elapsed over a period of weeks and at the moment I thought I was turning 32, I peered at the clock and saw that 5 o'clock had finally arrived.
During my commute home I thought about all of the fantastic adventures a 31 year old should have on his birthday. I fantasized about walking into a fancy restaurant and saying "Table for 1." I thought about sitting in the corner with a can of condensed soup, spooning thick chunks of cold salty broth and soggy vegetables into my half opened mouth while Yoki licks the drippings from my chin. I even considered buying a Hostess snack cake, placing a couple candles in it and watching them burn to their bases. When the candles would finally extinguish I'd blow my noise maker, throw some confetti and sit in darkness, still looking at the wax covered cake with my cone hat slightly askew. Instead of indulging myself, I arrived at home to find quite a surprise!!! Wunderbar! I love, love, love it.
Anyway, I spent the remainder of the evening decorating the Christmas tree and snuggling up with my sugar. I can't imagine a better way to end the day.
Anyway, the festivities shall continue, albeit in my head...
posted by Schitzo at
1:33 PM
